Q and A Answers

I got some great questions. Thank you to my loyal readers...all three of you :) Not really, I know I have more readers, just not many commenters. Here we go...

Staci asked:
How do you spend time as a family when Kevin is in town?
I was thinking about this and am sad to report that we are quite boring. Kevin likes to stay in the house when he is home (I guess he gets tired of being gone all the time) so we spend a lot of time in the house. With Kiera we read lots of books and play puzzles. We spend time outside since now is the time to enjoy the whether. She loves to swing in her red porch swing and I usually am gardening while Daddy swings her. We often go out to eat together (many times it is just McDonald's). We also go to the mall for the play area or out shopping. We do quite a bit of travelling and a little camping (I would like to do more). Most of our time at home is spent on home improvement projects and doing daily routine things such as eating and cleaning :(

Do you find Kiera is different when Kevin gets home from a trip or before he leaves?
A little bit. She just barely started to notice that when Kevin puts on his uniform it means he is going to work. She understands "work" means he is gone. She sometimes cries for him on and off the first couple hours he is gone. When he is gone sometimes she is better behaved with me because she has more of my attention maybe. When it is all three of us, she tends to be naughtier, but when it is just Kevin and her she is a perfect little angel. I usually tell her the day Kevin is coming home that he is coming home. I will give her a rundown of the day so she understands when he is coming home (for example, you will lay down for a nap and then when you wake up Daddy will be on his way) otherwise, she will think he is coming home within two minutes. I can tell she understands Daddy comes and goes and she is grasping the concept of time little by little.

As far as parenting goes are you doing things that you swore you would never do?
OH YES! I honestly don't think you can determine what kind of parent you will be until you actually are one. I can exactly recall the things I swore off, but I am sure I intended to feed my child better, not spank her unless absolutely necessary, never yell at her, and raise her as the perfect sleeper (which I have fallen short in every area). Then there is the whole my child will be the best behaved child on the face of the earth ideal I had...yeah right. Sometimes we pick our battles. If she wants to jump on the booth while I finish my dinner at a restaurant, go ahead...at least she is not screaming or running around the restaurant. Now that I think about it I swore I would take a screaming child out of public, never spank in public, and not ever allow my child to run around in a public place...so far so good on those things!

Is there anything that your mom did that you do or don't do with Kiera?
Yes. My mom used to always comment on things like, "Wow, you used your sharp ears (or eyes)!" I find myself doing that a lot. I will tell Kiera, "Put on your good listening ears and do what Mommy says!" It works. My mom praised a lot and so I try and do the same. But, my mom was a spanker (belts, sometimes) and I think at times it got out of hand. I don't want to be a spanker (I believe in spanking, just not as the main source of discipline). She also fed us our meals at the dinner table and not on TV trays and usually the TV was off. Now, since she is remarried that sort of has changed. We (Kevin, Kiera, and I )have all our meals at the table and I prefer the TV off, but sometimes Kevin is watching something and I let it go! My mother was always very loving and I think I am as well.

Tasha asked:
If you could live anywhere in the US, where would it be and why?
Well, I really do like Houston, but if I could go anywhere it would be one of the four corners states: probably northern AZ or southern UT. I just love the dry air with mountains. They have extreme temperatures, but they don't last forever. I love the sun, so it typically is pretty sunny out there. I would live in a cabin in the mountains not too far from a big city because I do like to shop and I do like people. I am not a recluse by any means.

What is your favorite thing about Kiera as a 2 year old?
Watching her personality come through. Now that she is very verbal and able to do many things on her own, I can really see what makes her unique.

Least favorite?
The outright disobedience. You know exactly what I am talking about, don't you? It is like sometimes they do not hear one word you say. Oh, and the collapse-a-baby crap they pull. You know, when you try and get them to walk and their legs turn to jelly and they fall to the ground...I hate that. Ok, so that was two ;)


Kim asked:
Now that you're going through the process to have another child..are there things you will do differently in terms of doctors and procedures?
Well, I am doing a totally different procedure (FET instead of IVF) so I would like the least amount of medicine as possible. I hate Lupron and want to avoid it at all costs. I tried to do a non-medicated cycle, but my body was not having that, so it looks like next cycle will be more medicated. It blew me away to find out that they use some medications to control your cycle for scheduling reasons. That is just plain crazy! I would ask more questions and be more knowledgable because they don't always have our best interest in mind. They see dollar signs and statistics.

What advice would you give someone who is just starting out with a fertility specialist?
Be knowledgeable and ask lots of questions. Lean on friends who have been through this. Have a plan (as in a distraction) for the 2ww. It is grueling. Decide beforehand how far you are willing to go because it will be hard to stop once you start!

How did you and Kevin deal with the struggle every month that you didn't end up pregnant? Good question..not well! We dealt with it with lots of tears and lots of questions. I was never angry at God, but instead became jealous and angry of those who so easily got what I wanted...pregnant! But, now I work with crisis pregnancies and feel completely at peace with that. Go figure! It was hard, very hard. The Christmas before I went through IVF (Dec. 2005) was horrible. I had just had major surgery becasue of endometriosis and ovarian cysts and I was on Lupron. I felt like crying all of the time and that I was never ever going to have a child. Everyone is like...Christmas is for kids...well that really hurts someone who doesn't have any! I told my sister I didn't know how to cope..she told me that she understood how hard it was (she also went through IVF) and I should rest in the idea that by the following Christmas I would know. Either I would have my own child or I would move on to adoption. She was right, guess what Kiera's due date was? 12/25/06!

These were all great questions. I look forward to next week's questions!